New chick at the Bagel Hut

Nice Butt

Every once in a while we do get a cuty in the theatre.

When will it all end.

I feel like it will never end, but it has to everything ends, somehow, someway it all ends.  What am I talking about, I guess I'm talking about a few things. Life, my relationship, the madness, the rat race ... everything.  I look around me, at my friends, co-workers, family, strangers on the street, they all seem to have it all together.  No matter what their position in life is, they all seem to have it together.  Financially nobody else seems to be fighting the fights that I have, I don't see anyone else wondering if they can afford to go to McDonald's for dinner or not.  I don't see any of them sweating if they're going to make the next rent payment or some other bills.  Some of my former high school friends seem to have everything and then some that they want and need.  Me, I can't afford an oil change, or have my truck maintained properly.  The only way I can see that my life will change is if I become single again.  Then I will have control over my life.  Right now, there's too many other people that have a direct effect on my life, that I have no control over even though I should.  I ask for things to be done at home that will help me, and nothing changes, except maybe for a day or two, then back to normal, every light, TV and whatever else is left burning for no apparent reason, I swear the people in my house are afraid of the dark, and silence.  
I need to gain control over these things and so much more.  I piss away more money on things that I don't like, or need every freakin' day of my life. It has to end, and it has to end soon.  I'm on a downward spiral, and it's just getting faster and deeper and the one other person that is effected by it the most doesn't seem to care, or see it happening.  We haven't really spoken since before New Years.  I'm wondering when she's going to see what's happening, or maybe she does and she's just not saying anything about it.
Well, here's hoping I survive to post again sometime soon.